but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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