wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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