nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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