i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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