his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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