When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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