We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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