She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize