And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
