Can Purell be used as lube?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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