Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
