u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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