please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
