bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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