I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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