i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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