Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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