Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
