I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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