i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
