i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
