Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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