Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
