i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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