if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize