i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
