Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
