im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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