A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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