i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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