what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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