none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
