He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
