sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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