she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
