At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
