only if we run a train.
done.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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