? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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