508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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