id be glad to
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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