Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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