I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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