GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
