Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
