You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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