I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
