if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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