I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
