haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
