I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
