i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
