Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
