if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
