Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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