Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
