That's when you crack a 10am beer
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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