I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
