do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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