real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize